Are modern Malaysian women too choosy when it comes to love?
New age women know exactly what they want, have more diversified career options and greater financial independence.
“What did you do on Valentine’s Day?”
As February comes and goes, the one topic that is omnipresent across luncheons or dinners and drinks across the world is whether you have spent the month of love with or without a romantic prospect.
Valentine’s Day celebration may not be for everyone. To some, the day to celebrate love is overrated and has come to represent the commercialisation of relationships.
Having said that, mainstream culture (driven by the marketers) has romanticised it so much so that there lies an unspoken rule of thumb where women secretly assess the state of their relationships on Valentine’s.
What does this mean for the singletons?
A recent survey by National Population and Family Development Board (LPPKN) showed that 35.7 percent of Malaysian women are marrying late because they could not find a suitable partner.
This phenomenon is nothing new. I know plenty of brilliant and brainy women from my line of work. A large percentage of them are single professionals, some of whom remain single out of choice.
‘Modern women are too choosy when it comes to romance’, we’ve been told.
But I believe it has more to do with the change of circumstances — while it is still predominantly a male-dominated world, modern dating has shifted in the wake of female empowerment both at home and at work. Some men may feel intimidated by self-sufficient women, but that is beyond our control.
Generally speaking, new age women know exactly what they want, have more diversified career options and greater financial independence.
More women are now upholding a set of standards when finding love. Some even proclaim ‘I don’t need a man.’
Sounds familiar? I was one of them.
Competitive and fiercely independent, I put in one too many additional hours in my early to mid twenties to build my career.
Along with like-minded friends, we vowed to never put up with shitty dates (loosely defined, as it depends on individual preferences) or ungentlemanly behaviour.
There was no space for a man, because independent as we are, we filled in the role of that man.
At one point, I came to realise that I have been so used to get things done on my own that I was shutting people (and potential love interests) out.
I so wanted to live up to the image of an independent career woman that I was afraid to let my guard down and express my vulnerabilities.
While I hold true to my independent nature, I recognise that relationships are also a partnership. It’s also a balancing act. There is no perfect relationship, only what we make out of it.
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