Dating in the digital age

The effect of the Internet touches us in many ways, in every part of our lives. A lot of our interactions nowadays, are now done behind the screens, myself included.

Growing up in the nineties, I am among those who transitioned to the digital age. I can’t help but notice that while the touch points of human interaction have increased (amplified by the Internet), we may start to forget the art of forging a real connection.

The Internet has made things more convenient as we take easier ways to maintain our real world relationships. To many, it has become more fitting (and possibly less complicated) to “like” or “favourite” a status update than to spare 30 seconds to write a comment or message.

The same goes to dating in the digital age. For a few months in the past year, a few friends and I gave one of the hottest dating apps in town a go.

The app, in essence, presents new “potential partners” without us breaking a sweat. We found the ease of use of the app refreshing. The novelty lasted for a while as each of us waded through the mobile dating space.

Eventually, most of us dropped off the grid.

While the notion of meeting new people is exciting, the nature of the dating app does not make it an ideal platform to facilitate meaningful relationships. A lot of it has to do with the “abundance mindset” of many of the people we have connected with.

Every profile, swipe or message is an opportunity to build a connection. With many “options” within a swipe away, apart from the standard “hellos”, and straight-forward invitations for a hook-up, it seems like majority of the modern day ‘casanovas’ find it more easily to move on to the next profile before a romantic spark has room to manifest itself.

I do not wish to instil upon you readers a less than favourable perception about online dating because I have met some friendly and chivalrous men when I was using the dating app. At the end of the day, a tool is only as good as one makes it — it all comes down to an individual’s approach to online dating. Good-natured men are definitely out there.

An article published by CNN Money quoted a study in 2012 where it is found that an abundance of online profiles to choose from makes people judgmental and reduce "three-dimensional people to two-dimensional displays of information."

Navigating through the digital age, many of us have learned to adapt to new forms of relationship building. Inevitably, in the digital age that seemingly offers limitless potentials, I believe it is increasingly more important for us to have a clear sense of self. To know what we want in life, and to identify with the people and things that will help us grow as an individual, rather than allowing ourselves to be swayed by fads and unrealistic expectations in an age where “instant gratification” is within reach.