Late marriage: "Men back off when they learn I'm pursuing my PhD"

Is it true that men in Malaysia feel threatened by a woman's high level of education?

Ina (not her real name), a 38-year-old single woman, seems to believe so.

Relating her story to Astro AWANI, Ina said being a busy career woman had hindered her plans to marry early.

"I was engaged once, when I was 24 years old, but the eight-year engagement ended before we could tie the knot.

"After that episode, it’s not that I didn't have any other prospects. There were some who approached me but the amount of time that I put into my work made it hard for anyone to court me," said Ina, who hails from Kuala Lumpur.

She said her job as an information systems auditor at a government-linked company calls for her to work late nights and long hours, even on weekends.

Singlehood in Malaysia: An infographic

And the few men whom she did get to go out with, they would be put off upon knowing that she was currently pursuing her doctorate in information security.

"When they (men) learn that I have a Master's degree and am continuing my PhD, they feel threatened, insecure. After one or two outings, they back off.

"People say education is important. While that may be true, for me, as long as the man is confident of himself, I really don't see a problem.

"Even if he only has a diploma or degree, but if he feels secured of himself, believes in himself and does his thing wholeheartedly, I don't feel ashamed about wanting to get to know him better," said Ina.

For Ina, it's not about wealth or money but to find someone who is steadfast in his faith and is able to guide her and her family.

"He should have a career, he should have some education, and he should have good qualities," she said, laughing.

"There was someone I knew who had decent qualities. But upon knowing him better, I learned that he wasn't too well-versed in religious matters.

"I'm pushing 40, I don't need to look at monetary wealth any more. What's important is being with someone who can guide me and my family towards the righteous path," she said.

In the Fifth Malaysian Population and Family Survey that was released recently, statistics showed that 35.7 percent of women in the country are marrying late because they could not find a suitable partner.

As for men, 56 percent of them suffer delay in marriage due to financial difficulties.