Please stop comparing moms

"If I can do it, so can you."

I hear this a lot. But as a working mom, I'm not sure I completely agree.

To me, it sounds more like "Why are you not more like me?"

Seriously, why would anyone say this? Do they think everyone has the same definition of 'happiness' and what is fulfilling? Do they think we all have the same capabilities and support system?

It takes a lot of effort and sacrifice to reach some semblance of a work-life balance. It doesn’t help when something bad happens at work, you immediately get blamed for not being fully committed.

Then at the same time, if something goes wrong at home, you’re suddenly the 'bad-mom'.

Because when anything goes wrong at home, naturally it’s the woman failing to perform her maternal duties, right?

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I’m aware of that natural 'motherly instinct'. It’s what makes me want to always be there for my kids. Whether it’s being front and center at each school-play, or nursing their fever into the early hours. The list is endless. And often times, thankless.

It would certainly help if our husband/partner was more involved at home, taking time to help out with the kids, split the domestic workload.

So, when it comes to work vs home life, what should be our priority?

Believe me when I say, every woman is trying her best to make the right decision.

Then there are those who might suggest, 'Why don't you just quit work?'.

Wow. Sounds easy, yeah. As long as you’re totally unaffected by the high cost of living these days.

In the Klang Valley, it's almost impossible for any household to depend on a single income. At least for me, quitting my job is not an option I can afford right now.

Let's be clear, I'm NOT complaining about having to work.

I'm actually grateful to have a job. In fact, it's even better when that job involves doing something we love to do.

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Whether you’re an entrepreneur, corporate high-flyer, or even a homemaker - as long as it makes you happy, I'm all for that.

Each women is unique, but I believe we all want something in common - the freedom to make the decisions that make us whole.

So post International Women's Day, I give a big applause and much respect to all of you out there, women and mothers alike.