Superhero(s) needed now more than ever before

I REMEMBER in my childhood having my ears glued to the radio listening to the audio drama sponsored by a well-known condensed milk manufacturer. The super hero was called TP; a name anyone could call out in moments of distress. Once summoned, I would hear a high pitched whine, a thunderous roar, a thud and TP proudly announcing; “TP saves the day” – or words to that effect. One big sock, biff and a huge thud and problem solved. TP then leaves the scence, the happy kid who summoned his help in the first place thanking him profusely. His parting shot – minumlah susu cap teko! (drink tea pot brand milk). Only later on in life did I discover that TP was short for tea pot which was the milk’s brand depiction.

So much for childhood superheroes flying in with superhuman deeds to despatch outsized bullies and any manner of nasty irritants with a single blow. Alas the real life problems in the big bad real world today are far, far more complex.

The bogeyman of my childhood may have long since gone but modern-day concerns do keep me awake at times. It is times like these that I long for the days of yore, the innocence of childhood where you do believe the superhero can be the balm to soothe all your cares away.

Why; you say, do I find myself delving on the subject of superheroes? Only because we now have word that the combined pulling power of Batman and Superman is now set to be harnessed by moviedom. Yes, the Man of Steel and the Caped Crusader will become the main protagonists in Zack Snyder’s next project. By all accounts the script involves them mauling each other – I guess the world is ready for one of them to shed the character’s goody-two-shoes image. I would have preferred them to join forces and do battle against the assortment of evil doers but where’s the fun in that?

SUPER THREESOME TRIUMVIRATE

If I had the ear of some Hollywood media moghul; or perhaps a Bollywood Baron, I’d take this opportunity to expand this dynamic duo into my terrific trio – Batman, Superman and TP!

You see, some of the most tiresome if not irksome problems in this world simply does not seem anywhere near solution simply because there is no one with the omnipotence to put right the numerous wrongs that exists today.

Right from the word go, I’d set the task of cleaning up Kuala Besut. Why do I think this backwater needs their attention? Why – because Syazreen suka korek hidung. it was only back in May that the 17,000-odd electorate in this Terengganu State constituency were showered every imaginable largesse courtesy of the winning party in the 13th General Election.

Personally, it is not the constituents with whom I have a bone to pick – it is the assortment of carpetbaggers from Kuala Lumpur who fly in and convincing them that Oliver-like; they need more!

What could they still want for, one wonders. Were they not promised the moon, the stars and everything else in between during campaigning for the last elections? Did those who made the promises know of an impending by-election, so kept their powder dry to ensure the poor people of Kuala Besut still calling on them with Santa’s sack?

So, for me, I will call on the magical powers of the trio and get them dredge the mouth of the Kuala Besut estuary. The triumvirate of immense power will do far better than all the technology even the renowned collective might of Dutch maritime engineers can muster. Keeping the estuary free from silting is one of the carrots being dangled to attract Kuala Besut voters, mind you!

The one area in which the trio would serve the community so well would be in the area of crime prevention. Crime in big city Kuala Lumpur is a reality for which the powers that be at one point simply decided was of no consequence.

They must be living in some hermetically-sealed cocoon if all they do is to parrot the line that we are safe – even in our own homes!

Yes, they are safe, so long as the security guards they employ in their gated and guarded cul-de-sacs are not themselves hoodlums under their hoods.

CRIME IN CLEAR REALITY

It was a case of the long-suffering citizenry insisting crime was rampant but the authorities insisting that Kuala Lumpur was far safer than New York. That was until some crook decided to break into the home of Minister Khairy Jamaludin before the chickens came home to roost.

What followed was some brand new initiative to introduce new laws – very much a case of locking the stable door after the horse has bolted.

Over in the Rejang River there is still the submerged Kawan Mas boat that may or may not be the watery burial plot for the last victim of the ferry disaster all those months ago – remember?

Aww, come on...how callous can KLites get? How long was the plight of our cousins in Sarawak top of your daily agenda before it got banished into your dustbin of memory?

It appears we as a nation are so extremely unprepared, unable and lack the wherewithal to raise anything submerged under 10 feet of river.We remain hapless, even with the help of free-range cockerel slain by Siamese shayman with the ability to dive without oxygen in their loincloth trunks.

I shudder to think how we will cope should a similar incident recur, since we have a far bigger undersea asset that makes up our maritime defense armoury. Do we need to call Teepee...!!! and have the services of this mighty three.

Distance and familiarity will not be a problem. All three are within earshot.

My apologies for leaving enlightenment right at the end – our two primary superheroes can’t get any closer even if they wanted to.

How so? Just google Suparman bin Batman and see what I mean.

RAZAK Chik wishes that all our three superheroes marry our local lasses, don Harimau Malaya jerseys and change our football fortunes.