Compassion, mercy and sincerity - Islam's method of disciplining children

In relations to the reported case of the Malaysian couple who were detained by the Swedish government in Stockholm due their disciplining their 14 year old son for not praying, a discussion has been prompted on the different ways the Islamic religion look at disciplining children.

There are a few popular hadiths by the Prophet Muhammad:

“Command your children to pray when they reach the age of seven and hit them if they leave it off when they reach the age of ten.”

“Hang your whip where the members of the household can see it, for that will discipline them.”

As much as these hadiths are always used to justify corporal punishments by Muslim parents, it is wise to take note that the Prophet himself had never hit any women, children and even animals.

The Prophet, who was famed for his patience, has also said,

“There shall be no harm and no reciprocating harm.”

Islamic syariah lawyer, Nizam Bashir, stresses that the main philosophy of Islam is very peaceful and beautiful and is never about violence or scare tactics. Sincerity should be the key word.

In fact, many Islamic scholars believe that talking and reasoning with children is a much better method of disciplining children. It also helps to develop critical thinking in children and promotes positive self-esteem.

Do note that nowhere in the hadith mentioning the whip that it says to actually use the whip. It is just used as a symbol of prevention and motivation rather than of using it on family members.

If any hitting is necessary depending on desperate situations, it should never be more than a light smack, and even then it should not be on the face, it should not be harsh or severe, it must not be done out of anger, and it should not be insulting or degrading to the child.

In the case of the Malaysian couple detained in Sweden, a clash of cultures between east and west may be a factor. However, Nizam says that Islam is universal and a case like this creates the perfect opportunity to create discourse and understanding.