Malaysians: We may have differences but we are one!

When couples in Malaysia decide to tie the knot, the first question that they would probably hear from their parents is 'where is your future spouse from'. Though this question may not mean much for the couple as love knows no boundaries, for some families one's origin is an important issue and a cause of concern based on their personal experience and preference. As for Malaysians, after 56 years of Independence and 50 years after the formation of Malaysia, willingness to accept differences in culture, language and food is the factor that binds them as one and makes them all part of one big picture. This acceptance has created a uniquely well knitted and harmonious society. DIFFERENCES The differences in culture, custom and lifestyle are in fact not difficult to adapt with and actually they are similar in many ways, irrespective of whether they hail from places as far apart as Sabah and Sarawak? "As long as we can accept our differences and make an effort to learn more about each others tradition, language and food, life as a Malaysian will continue to be beautiful and things will fall finely into place. "We live in a diverse community and when we learn to be more open to each others lifestyles, the more we will realise that we are actually almost the same, said Faudzain Ghazali, 47 from Bukit Kuda, Kelang to Bernama recently. Faudzain is happily married to a Sarawakian, Nor Hanizah Tahar from Sibu. TRADITIONS This chief engineer on LNG Vessel found it interesting to be part of the different tradition on his wife's side. "Acceptance is the key word. We should always open our hearts to new experiences as we go along in life. Respecting others for their way of life is a must. "That's how I have been brought up and I have no difficultly in adapting to the lifestyle and expectations of fellow Malaysians including my family and friends in Sarawak," shared Faudzain. His ship sails often to Bintulu, Sarawak and when on duty he finds his multiracial Malaysian crew, with some of them from Sabah and Sarawak, wonderful people to work with. Despite the differences, his subordinates and colleagues can relate to each other easily and they share their personal concerns occasionally with him. Faudzain feels honoured to be trusted occasionally as their confidante. JUDGEMENTAL Couples from different backgrounds may find certain differences hard to live with in the beginning. However, over time they will get over them by accepting the differences. "My late mother had always reminded me not to be overly judgemental or never to judge a book by its cover. She made me realise that the key to a human heart is sincerity. We should not let our ego take control. We have to learn to give and take," Faudzain added. When one makes an effort to blend in by showing an interest to learn more about another communitys custom or tradition, the initiative will become contagious. As for Nor Hanizah; "As a Sarawakian, we open our arms and heart to others. However, to be accepted by others will most definitely take time". VARYING CUSTOMS The Sarawakian, who currently works in Kuala Lumpur and completed her studies in a public university in Shah Alam, concurs with her husband Faudzain. "We have many different customs in the Peninsular, Sabah and Sarawak and we respect one another for the differences. I have many friends in Peninsular Malaysia and we can get along easily. "We try to adapt to each others lifestyle easily and it comes naturally. Most of us have parents from different family backgrounds and heritage, just as my parents. My father is a Melanau and my late mother a Sambas Malay. They lived a happy life together," Nor Hanizah added. Asrina Asri, a Sabahan married to Hanafi Mohd Bakri of Kajang, finds the differences among Malaysians very much like an Explorace challenge where one has to learn to accept and tolerate each other's differences. This Sabahan lady is getting along well with her husband from Minang heritage. "It is never impossible to learn to accept the differences especially when your spouses living environment since childhood is not like yours. "As long as your upbringing and exposure had prepared you with the right attitude, it is not difficult to just accept others the way they are. However, I hope that everybody will allow themselves to be as open as that. In Sabah, we are privileged to live among the many ethnic groups with different cultures including that of our neighbours Sarawak," the young accountant shared. EXPLORE Couples who marry within the states in Peninsula are also not spared this challenge. Time is definitely an important factor to enable them to learn this unfamiliar differences from their other half. And the road to long lasting happiness can lead to eternal happiness only when through mutual understanding and accepting each others differences whole heartedly. Everyone needs to deal with this common challenge. Siti Hawa Ismail of Perlis can vouch for this. "We are both from the same state, Perlis, but come from different 'kampungs and have different lifestyles. Our food preferences and family activities among others differ. "We made the effort to explore and learn from each other as we went along and most importantly as long as this marriage of varying customs and tradition do not go against our religion, it is fine to continue living with it, Siti Hawa said. And she agrees that the acceptance of our differences in all aspects, regardless of where we come from, is the answer for Malaysians when it comes to maintaining a united and harmonious life in the culturally diversified and peaceful Malaysia, and still be a united people.