MH370: 'Don't give false hope, just say nothing', says volunteer counselor

No one will really know the feelings of the families of those waiting to hear news of their loved ones on board the missing Malaysia Airlines (MAS) flight MH370.

For caregivers and counsellors, some of whom sacrifice their own working hours lending a helping hand, all they can do is try to "be there for them".

“We really can’t do much. There could be a miracle, better news, but really, what we can do now is to console, to try to put ourselves in their shoes during this time of anxiety,” said volunteer counsellor Ow Lai Fan.

Ow -- together with three other volunteers, Saw Phaik Wah, Christina Ong, and Barbara Yen-- turned up at the Cyberview Lodge on Wednesday offering comfort and counsel to the 12 family members staying here, mainly from China.

They said they felt compelled to “do something instead of feeling helpless” after learning about the plane’s disappearance.

They came on their own accord to provide “one-on-one” or “group” sessions.

However, the four Buddhist organisation members were told that they were not needed at the moment.

Barbara, was the most senior among them. A petite lady of 67, she has spent 40 years in social work and counselling.

“(What they all need now) is support, both from their family and the community,” Barbara told reporters.

She used to work as a lecturer at the University Malaya, caring patients such as those who had HIV and mental problems at hospitals, and had also experience counselling tsunami survivors in Sri Lanka.

“(But) Sometimes they just need the space,” said Barbara, referring to the media and attention that the families were now receiving.

“The media sometimes can be overwhelming, it can distress the family more, I don’t know how the media perhaps can be spread out so not so many go after them (at once),” she said.

However, she added that it was still good that the media is updating the public.

Barbara said that the families now need support, love and kindness, and not false information and speculation.

“Do not give false hope either. When there is too much expectations, it could be the reverse. (We just) say nothing. Only say things that are necessary, with loving kindness, with compassion, with understanding,” she said.

Despite being turned down by Malaysia Airlines and Chinese Embassy officials today, the group said they are on standby to help anytime they are called.

So far, some 100 families from six countries-- namely China, New Zealand, Ukraine, Indonesia, India, and Malaysia -- are in Kuala Lumpur awaiting the latest updates on the multinational search and rescue operation to find MH370, and those 239 on board.

It was understood that the families now staying at Cyberview Lodge here are extremely distraught. They have so far declined to speak to some 50 over media personnel camped out at the hotel.