Torque Talk: Chris Ng’s Combustion Chamber

Ep. 01: Much to do about ado

Hello, dear readers, to a weekly column by yours truly about anything and everything under the sun. But only if the sun shines of things that have two to four wheels, involves motoring in general and the sometimes facepalm moments of being a motoring journalist. I’m not trying to be funny here, so I apologize in advance for causing any unintentional mirth. This is serious business of a business that’s serious.

So, at the risk of this becoming a rant column…

Maybe, it was the alignment of the planets in the solar system but last week saw a staggering number of events happening one after the other, and some at the same time. Naturally, I couldn’t attend them all because a Chris-duplicator has not been invented yet; but neither you nor I would want it to be invented. Thankfully, I had Arvind and Jerrica covering those I can’t. It could just be pure coincidence but you’ll begin to notice strange things happening when you attend back-to-back events. This one, though, is disturbing. It has much to do about ado.

If you pay attention to the introductory speech, any kind of speech for all occasions and events, you’ll begin to notice that the phrase ‘without further ado’ being thrown around way too many times. Especially when it is time to introduce the next person or item in the agenda. Isn’t there any other way to do it? Of course there are! Plenty, even. I think they’re just too lazy to find out the alternative.

But isn’t that what they are getting paid for? No? Then who writes these things anyway? Time to get them a phrasebook… ah, but the ultimate challenge would be getting them to read. So, I’ll suggest a few that you can use the next time you need to replace ‘without further ado’; consider this a community service.

1. I’ll stop wagging my chin and introduce…

2. Now, to get into the meat of the matter…

3. This is just the tip of the iceberg. So here’s Insert Name to help dig deeper…

4. Because I really need to go pee…

5. Because I’m not the main star of this event… here’s…

6. Before I make further fool of myself… here’s…

7. Since I have nothing else on my flashcards, here’s…

8. Because my mom is here to pick me up, here’s Insert Name to take the floor

9. I now make way for someone more in the know than me…

So you see, there are alternatives to ‘without further ado’. Those that I came up with are the result of a 10-minutre though-process with plenty of distractions involved. With this, I hope to listen to something different at the next event. Or, just do away with the MC completely and let the CEO start the proceedings. Yes, that would be something to watch.

PS: This isn't the event that the article refers to, this image was chosen specifically because of Harith Iskandar. (Do you really think he would use common words every other MC would use?) Speaking of which, we would really love to see Harith Iskandar MC-ing another car launch soon!