roshan thiran
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us…” – Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

Exactly one year after my SPM exam, I read ‘The Tale of Two Cities’ and remembered thinking to myself how aptly this description was of my current state of affairs. My story after SPM is filled with joyous and fun moments coupled with anger, confusion, fear and frustration.

My moments of joy and happiness began when I completed the last SPM paper and left my school until the day my results came out. The moment my SPM results were out, my world turned upside down.

Well, to be fair, I was somewhat frustrated after my SPM exam as I was the only person from my batch who didn’t have a girlfriend while all my other friends used to lug around their new-found “love of their lives” every time we met. But that never bothered me too much as I was involved myself in some many wonderful things including starting my own business, helping out in youth camps, and working for an NGO. I felt so powerful, yet so foolish, so impetuous and spontaneous to ‘change the world.’

Then my SPM results came out and the world changed suddenly. The funny thing is that I did really well for my SPM. I scored 7 A1’s and 1 C3, in the old days where we were limited to 8 or 9 subjects. I was not surprised as I knew I would do well but my relatives and friends were probably extremely surprised as they wondered when I found time to study. This was because I spent the majority of my secondary school life playing football and trying to ‘change the world’. But study I did (when my friends were out looking for girlfriends or wasting their time with their “trophies”).

However having good results really complicated matters. I decided that I did not want to study in a local university and wanted to get one of those scholarships that were awarded. So, together with all my friends (who similarly resolved to escape Malaysia for the supposedly greener ‘academic’ shores elsewhere), we started to apply for every scholarship under the sun – from the JPA, Petronas, Renong and whatever else that was available back then. One by one, my friends, most of whom had lesser result than me, started to get scholarships to various countries, universities and prep schools. I went for interviews after interviews, but nothing came about.

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I soon realized that I was a hopeless at interviews. I tend to ‘tell the truth’ during interviews and that was not apparently what the interviewers wanted to hear, especially on my fine act of balancing ‘changing the world’, sports and life with studies thrown into the fray occasionally. And so as the months ticked by, nothing came about. Then I had to face the inevitable – I had to go to FORM 6!

I could not believe it. It was a horrible time. I saw all my friends flying off or going to some private college or being prepped at some institution to be flown off to some exotic country like the UK, Australia, the US and France (well, for a person who had only travelled to 2 places outside of Malaysia all my life, everything was exotic outside the country!).

But I had to go back to the Methodist Boys’ School in Kuala Lumpur (MBS) and be part of the Form 6 class. The only consolation I had was the fact that at least in Form 6 there would be girls in the class (unlike the previous 5 years) so maybe there was some hope filling up the ‘lack of girlfriend’ void which was perpetuated by my friends who were then breaking up with their first girlfriends and having their 2nd and 3rd girlfriends.

So, I was off to Form 6, dreading the fact that I was the only one in my group of friends actually going back to MBS. And so, the exciting months since the end of SPM suddenly turned into a depressing set of months that followed. I went to school but my heart and mind were jealously thinking of how ‘lucky’ my friends were while I was so unlucky and such a victim.

But this sad state of being a ‘victim’ didn’t last long. My headmaster, a very strict disciplinarian, had taught me in my previous years as a student leader in MBS striving to ‘change the world’ that you must never be taken victim by circumstances. This was further reinforced numerous times by my former football coach at MBS, the legendary Mokhtar Dahari. He believed that bad things (in my case ‘being stuck in MBS’!!) happened to everyone but our reaction to these circumstances defines great leaders. And watching Mokhtar Dahari as he battled the deadly disease that finally took his life convinced me that I needed to take charge of my life and not be taken victim to whatever conditions surrounded me.

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So, with this new resolved, I decided to dedicate the next few months of my life to ‘getting out of Malaysia’ somehow. I knew that I had to keep trying, as Mokhtar Dahari kept repeating to us, “everything requires hard work and perseverance”. And so I worked tirelessly day and night to get into a foreign university.

I started getting university application forms, doing up my ‘resume’ and writing passionate letters to various universities on why they need to admit me into their school and pay for my education, food, lodging and everything else. I think I possibly spent my entire saving and earnings (did I mention that I had mini businesses giving tuition, and other stuff!) and the cash I received for getting good results (my father worked in the government and they have various cooperatives that reward government employees whose kids do well in their studies) on stamps and posting more than 1000 letters to universities all over the world.

Surprisingly, I got answers from many big universities. Harvard, Princeton and Georgetown said come join us but offered paltry scholarships which only covered 25% of the fees. As I knew my parents had no means to pay for the rest (and little did I know that the government would actually pay for me if I ACTUALLY got into the top universities), I kept tirelessly applying to others.

Finally, a small university (well not so small!) in Connecticut sent me a letter accepting me into their university, with a full scholarship covering everything from food, lodging, tuition and the works. All I had to do was, fly over there. I still remember receiving the letter on December 18, 1992. By January 3rd, 1993, I was on a plane (where I met my future wife) ready to start school in Connecticut. My perseverance and diligence had paid off and I was off to start my new adventure in this exotic new place – New England!
When I arrived at the University of Bridgeport, I met the president of the university (as apparently I was one of the first students given this full scholarship) and then off I went to see my student advisor. His first question to me was “why are you at this university?” as he showed me that he knew about the fact that I had gained entrance to a few other ‘better’ universities. I answered that question with ease. Then he posed a second question, “so what do you want to study?”

I was stuck. I had no idea what I wanted to study or what career I wanted to pursue. I think my parents wanted me to be an engineer, others suggested being an accountant, and a whole host of ‘hot’ jobs that will make me successful. I looked at my student advisor, a man by the name Professor Greenspan and asked him a question instead, “tell me Professor, which is the easier course out there – something I can breeze through?” he looked back at me almost in anger and then composed himself and said, “Business – international business is easy.” And I looked back at him and said, “Ok, I’ll do that then!”
And that settled it. I was going to study business. (A few days later I realized that Prof. Greenspan was a business professor and hence his recommendations).

After studying business and even after graduated and got a job at General Electric (GE), I still had no idea what I wanted to do. In fact, my first boss decided that I was not good with numbers, so he insisted I take on finance roles for the first part of my career at GE and hence I became a finance leader and later a CFO at GE. But even then I struggled to figure out what I really wanted to do and after my 7th role at GE, I finally figured out my passion and what I truly wanted in life.

Finding one’s passion is never easy. Steve Jobs, CEO and co-founder of Apple, dropped out of college, disappointing his parents in the process because he “had no idea what (he) wanted to do with life and no idea how college was going to help (him) figure it out.”Steve worked at Atari briefly to save enough money to go to India to “find his passion and calling.” In India, Steve spent time with the surroundings and the Creator discovering his “calling.” In fact, Steve gives this advice to everyone who has finished their secondary school:

“I think you should go get a job as a busboy or something until you find something you are really passionate about. I’m convinced that about half of what separates the successful entrepreneurs from the non-successful ones is pure PERSEVERANCE. It is so hard. You put so much of your life into this thing. There are such rough moments in time that I think most people give up. Unless you have a lot of passion about this, you’re not going to survive. You’re going to give up. So, you’ve got to have an idea, or a problem or a wrong that you want to make right that you are passionate about, otherwise you are not going to have the perseverance to stick it through. I think that’s half the battle right there.”

And he is right. You have got to find what you love and are passionate about first. This is an important part of what you need to do after SPM. Once you discover what you are passionate about, you will be energized to greatness.

Many young Malaysians had similar struggles after SPM. Like me, many did not know if they should study or not, where to study, what to study, what jobs to take on and what career choices to make. Thus, the end of SPM is an important landmark. It was important for Steve Jobs and it is important for you.

For many, it may be going off to Form 6 and STPM or A-Levels and then deciding on your careers. For others they may be forced to decide earlier. Yet, we all struggle with this decision as we know not what excites us or what makes us passionate. Finding out what makes you tick and what energizes you is the key to life after SPM.

All roads can lead to greatness as long as you find your passion. Whatever the circumstances God has imparted in your life, you don't need to be a victim but can choose to look at the bright side and go on to greatness.

Wishing you all the best in your career!

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Roshan Thiran is the CEO of Leadernomics, a social enterprise committed to transforming the nation, one person at a time. He worked at General Electrics and Johnson&Johnson prior to Leadernomics. He is passionate about growing and developing everyone into great leaders.
This article is published with permission from his book, What's After SPM: 101 Stories, 101 Young Malaysians.
He can be contacted at: [email protected]