I don't believe in corporal punishment when it comes to disciplining children and neither do my parents. So I have never laid a finger on my daughter.
I would much prefer to have a heated and honest argument which eventually ends in a better understanding for both parties than a quick smack on the buttocks. But when it comes to Azizul Raheem Awaluddin and Shalwati Nurshal, the Malaysian couple detained in Sweden for 'abusing' their son for not praying, I think I would sway in their defence.
Its quite easy why my rational logic tells me that corporal punishment isn't the way to go with children, because it is just the Islamic way. Islam's main principles are compassion, mercy and sincerity. And that is how I base almost all of my dealings in life with.
What is one of the most common phrase in Islam? Of course it is, bismillahirahmanirahim, which means, in the name of Allah, the most compassionate and most merciful. And there is ikhlas,or sincerity, which is the foundation of any and every single deed in Islam if it were to have any meaning at all.
The prophet Muhammad himself had never hit a woman, child or even animal. So that must say something about the negativities of corporal punishment. But now back to the issue with the Malaysian couple who has been detained while their four children have been separated from them and are in the Swedish foster care system.
Although I don't know the exact details of what actually happened that constituted the abuse, I strongly believe that it wasn't abuse.
Like any Muslim or even Malaysian family, I can imagine that the 'abuse' for not praying would have been a smack on the wrist or even leg. And if we look at it from an Islamic point of view, although it isn't a preferable method of discipline, it could still be an accepted one if: - the parent is not excessive in the physical punishment - the parent is sincere in wanting to teach and correct the child from bad behaviour - the parent does not do it out of anger or frustration - the parents makes sure the child understands why he or she is being punished It would be fine in our Asian culture but not so in Scandinavian culture.
So there is obviously a clash of cultures in this case.
Okay, fine. There may be a law in Sweden that prohibits parents from using any form of physical punishment to discipline their children because it traumatises them.
But in this case, it seems that detaining the parents and putting the children in foster care is causing more trauma to the children than the actual punishment by the parent. And after speaking to Swedish lawyers and reading official reports, it is even more worrying to know that there is a history of exploitation in the Swedish welfare system.
No matter how liberal or how entreched a country is in a full welfare state, they have to see things in context and not just black and white.
Yes, the law may be the law and it is difficult for one country to meddle in another's judicial affair (as many quarters are calling for the Malaysian government to interject).
But throughout the years, I have often been told by many human rights lawyers, activists and even lawmakers in Malaysia of one thing. The law is the law and it needs to be upheld.
But if it is an unjust law, then by all means, we need to fight to abolish it and not to uphold it.
Sweden may be a welfare state from cradle to grave, but they definitely do not own your children.
Sometimes, parents really do know best.
Zan Azlee
Thu Jan 23 2014
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