Of 'sepet' and cultural literacy in a multicultural world

On the first day of Chinese New Year, I took my daughter and my son to Aquaria. We thought KL would be lonely, seeing that majority of its population would have fled away from town for the festive season, hence KL requires our company.

But, no, it was not so. KLCC was full of expatriates, foreigners and tourists – so many, that I felt all touristy in my own town.

When we got in Aquaria, as always, I had to answer the 101 questions and more on so many things.

My daughter, who is six, this year, is one curious cat. She is an observant kid and she sometimes asked me questions that I wish she didn't ask.

When she was four she asked me, “Mommy, what is God?”

When we were in Bali, when she was four, when she saw a gay couple kissing by the beach, she asked,”Mommy, why is that uncle eating the other uncle's face?”

Yes, those kinds of random questions.

And back in Aquaria, whilst we were educating ourselves with the wonderous beauty of creatures of the sea, Lily suddenly pulled her eyes back. She did it for quite a while.

And I asked her why?

“I am watching the fish with my eyes sepet (slanted). Like that boy there. Do you think he can see everything with his eyes so small?” she said pointed out to a Chinese boy (we later found out he is from mainland China)

My first instinct was being somewhat aghast, but I kept my calm. She is after all socially naïve.

I wanted to explain to her that it is not nice to stereotype people like that. But I didn't. How do I explain 'stereotype' to an innocent mind that does not know the meaning and the difference between races and religions?

I wanted to tell her that she should not speak of it again because it could sound offensive. But I didn't.

So, I tried to give her an abbreviated explanation of why it wasn't okay to say things like that and how it could be hurtful to someone.

There, then, I had to be quick; and I said, “It’s not nice to pin point other people’s appearance like that and don't worry Lily, just because his eyes are smaller that does not mean the world is smaller in their eyes,” and I pointed out to a shark above us, to avoid further questions.

I didn't want my girl to just stop doing it because I told her not to. I wanted for her to also get that it wasn't nice.

She did absorb it later, and I have to remember that kids do that. They absorb better than adults.

And that got me to think about another story my colleague told me on 'sepet'.

Her boyfriend who is Chinese got annoyed by the Chinese New Year display at shopping malls. Not because of anything, but because almost all the human like figurines in KL have slanted eyes.

Sometimes, there are just two lines drawn horizontally on the face.

Whilst showing pictures of the figurines, he went, “How racist is that?”

I don’t know how to answer that because it my head, really, (with no intention of racism here at all) how else do you describe a Chinese person’s feature?

What I learn from this is that slapping people with the obvious can be offensive.

And in this case, unconsciously, it can encourage and legitimised the taunting and mocking of people of Asian descent.

Maybe we can fix this. Maybe, shopping malls in Malaysia can just stick to the animals of the year when putting up Chinese New Year festivities display.

Though we can’t fix everyone but we can fix whom we can reach – like our kids.

If kids don't know why that isn't okay, and start learning it early, they really are being handicapped to navigate a multicultural world.

This is not just about being kind and courteous. This is a little different, though those are the primary motivations, but, it’s important to have some cultural literacy and be able to see the perspective of other people.

Celebrating and sharing the joy of each others festivities would be one of the best perks of being a Malaysian. And like a true Malaysian, I would love for my children and their children's children to experience this joy in the future.

But for now, harmony in diversity is key, wouldn't you agree?

Happy Chinese New Year and Happy Chap Goh Mei to all my Chinese friends and family.