A 'telur' size-off

I know Ridhuan Tee wasn’t aiming his latest column in Sinar Harian entitled ‘Mana telur kita?’ specifically at me. But my column today is aimed right at him.

Sometimes I feel quite stupid arguing with what this Chinese man says since what he says is always quite stupid. But I can’t help it. It’s just incredibly fun!

In Tee’s latest column, he highlights the fact that no political leaders seem to have the balls to stand up against the infidels and their demands.

First up, he says that how dare the Hindus question the right of Muslims to want to slaughter cows in a public school.

Hey pang yau (in case Tee has forgotten his mother tongue, ‘pang yau’ mean ‘friend’)! It’s okay for them to question it.

And it’s also okay for Muslims to concede and do the slaughtering somewhere else. It’s call respecting other religions. Islam says that’s the way mah!

Surah Al-An’am in the Quran states:

“Do not revile those unto whom they pray beside God, lest they wrongfully revile God through ignorance.”

Surah Al-Mumtahanah states:

“God does not forbid you to be kind to those who do not take arms against you. God loves those who are just.”

Surah Al-Baqarah states:

“Forgive and show indulgence to them…Whosoever surrenders his purpose to God while doing good, his reward is with his Lord; and there shall no fear come upon them neither shall they grieve.”

Then he also says that he is against a minority group’s religious festival being given a two-day public holiday while the Aidiladha festival only gets one day.

Hey pang yau! Don’t you know that the Muslims already get a two-day holiday for Aidilfitri? Then there’s also Maulud Nabi and Awal Muharram. Don’t be greedy.

Tee also says that now, all the minority groups in Sabah and Sarawak are going to demand for public holidays too and Malaysia will just be full of public holidays.

Hey pang yau! I wonder if you realise how you’re sounding when you say that. How great do you think you are? Islam doesn’t like arrogance mah!

Surah Luqman states:

“You shall not treat the people with arrogance, nor shall you roam the earth proudly. God does not like the arrogant showoffs. Walk humbly and lower your voice - the ugliest voice is the donkey's voice.”

And, Tee uses the Maori people in New Zealand as an example of an indigenous group that now has to bow to outsiders who are ruling their country.

Hey pang yau! Why are you so afraid of ending up like the Maori? Are you actually a Bumiputera yourself? Have you checked your birth certificate?

And if you’re going to use that same argument you made against me in one of your previous columns, just forget about it.

Islam isn’t even indigenous to this part of the world. It originated in the Arab world and then arrived here through traveling Arab traders.

(For those who don’t know, Tee once tried to counter an article I wrote against him by saying that he is defending his Muslim brothers and not Malays. *Yawn!*)

Tee actually also brings up the matter regarding the usage of the word ‘Allah’. But I’m just going to let that one go. It’s too dumb to even rebut anymore.

So pang yau. I really hope one day you will stop spewing your nonsensical ideas and comments to the public. It’s like cracking a ‘pei tan’ open. It stinks to high heaven!

And if Tee has really forgotten his ancestry, ‘pei tan’ is a Chinese delicacy known as century eggs in English. It’s really preserved duck eggs.

Despite its horrible smell, it tastes great and is one of my favourite food. Tee’s writings, however, just smells horrible and doesn’t get much better than that.