Is there really no such thing as selfless act of kindness?

As we are closely approaching the holidays, the year 2014 coming to an end, this is often a time of year when we reflect on the things we are thankful for and think of ways to give causes we care about.

And that's exactly the thing I did. I reflected on the things I am thankful for. And this is what I found out – today, I am remembering that kindness and thoughtfulness begin at home.

I taught my daughter the simple acts of kindness the moment she learned to talk. To say 'thank you' for every little thing she received, for every little compliment she got. To say 'hello' and 'how are you?' to every person she knows and meet.

Of late, her politeness has begun to demand for payback. For example, she has started to demand for my 'you're welcome' every time she says 'thank you'.

The thing is, she said thank you for EVERY single thing.

From waking up in the morning when I made her milk to bringing her to the toilet; from driving her to school to helping her put on her shoes; from tying her hair to switching to her favourite TV channel – everything.

I sometimes get overwhelmed by her 'thank yous' that I forget to say 'you're welcome'. And she will get very frustrated every time.

And when she gets frustrated, I begin to realise that it is not at all hard to say 'thank you' and 'you're welcome' over and over again. So, why didn't I practice what I preached?

On another note, I sometimes remind my husband that it would make me feel really nice and warm if he can utter the words 'thank you' when I cook or wash his clothes.

He would mostly shrug, most of the time, indifferent.

And on one of the not-so-good days, he would reply with "Do not expect anything nice for every little act of kindness that you do. No expectation itself is on its own an act of kindness."

Like, really? I begin to think. He seriously expects me to take that? When I have pushed myself all day at work and run back home to cook, clean, take care of the children...and I don't actually deserve a 'thank you'?

And if there's some truth in what he said, would my children grow up thinking the same?

Would I want my son to treat his future wife the way my husband did? Indifferent?

Are we becoming this kind of society that picks and choose when we want to be kind to each other?

Or is there really no such thing as selfless act of kindness?

Just look at how we judge others on social media. Just look at the tone and the language we use when we comment in the little comment box. Most of the comments we gave are just simply heart-wrenching and not at all appropriate for our younger ones to read.

It really is embarrassing to see the words uttered via keyboards from homes and offices of many Malaysians. We depict ourselves as rude and crude and cruel to others, to people of the world, when being Malaysian is all about grace, mannerism and politeness.

And oh, let's not even start with what our children watch on TV – gangsters, mother and father bickering with each other and ended up with black magic, adults deserting their parents and many more.

I don't even know what is worse. The fact that there are people making this sort of dramas or movies or the fact that these negativity got the go ahead to be broadcast on national TV.

Believe it or not, these are the things that our children are emulating, hence, we began to generate a generation of rowdy and rude lots. Possibly a bunch of bullies.

And still we manage to point our fingers to all things around us like the government, schools, what-have-yous except our very own selves.

So really, kindness begins at home. And if I want my daughters and son to be kind, it has to begin with me.

Happy (belated) World Kindness Day to one and all.