Why should there be a huge fuss over a style choice?

I have never been more criticised in the face now as I was when I had no kids.

It seems that every little thing I do with my children or for them, is highly scrutinised.

From my birth plan to swaddling to sleeping on the same bed to choice of clothing to types of shoes... to everything.

Not that I take their comments whole-heartedly or seriously, but it is really annoying that nothing seems right to these people.

The most annoying would be when people, friends especially, fuss over my choice of style for my kids.

See, my son, Luth, has long hair and he has the gentlest face with the sweetest smile. He has the softest natural curls, which none of us have. And so, because of this rarity, my older daughter and I decided that we should keep his hair as long as we can, and as long as he wants to.

But don't be fooled by the gentle face because he is as boyish as a boy could be and sometimes more. The only time he didn’t move about or run around would be when his eyes are shut, asleep. And he has only two speed modes: fast and faster.

Despite his hyperactivity, due to his long hair, he is constantly mistaken for a girl.

Luth is only three years old. He does not even care if he has long hair or short hair, just as long as it doesn't get into his eyes or in the way of his running around and climbing things.

And has anyone seen the long hair on Johnny Depp or Jared Leto or Dave Grohl? They seem very non-girlish to me. So, what's the big deal?

Very soon, Luth will grow up and go to school. And here, in school you have rules. Short, boy-cut hair is compulsory. And so, my son has only the next four years to have his hair in whatever length he wants.

And once he understands his own self and once he knows what he wants, then he can make his own decision on how he wants to look like.

But really, why does it matter so much for people when it comes to other people's children and how they look like?

I don't mind correcting strangers who mistook my son's gender, but what I hate the most would be friends who know I have a son but refuse to acknowledge his gender, just because of his long hair.

I have friends who've said things like: "Why? You want him to be a pondan (effeminate man), is it?" or "Cut his hair or he will grow up a confused kid" or "Why are you doing this to your son?" and even "Stop turning your boy into a girl. What's wrong with you?"

Even my husband, whom at first was alright with our son's gorgeous locks, has now joined the bigotry wagon. He too can't wait to chop of his mane.

Why should there be a huge fuss over what is essentially a style choice -- for my three-year-old son?

When I was younger, in school, I used to have short hair. Like Twiggy's (English model, actress and singer), because I love Twiggy and I hate waking up a little earlier than I should just to do my hair. Because of my androgynous look added with the short hair do, I was always mistaken as a boy. I got stopped at public toilets, I got girls having the hots for me and I was also called "tomboy" and "babang".

And beyond this entire stereotype that I received by friends and strangers alike, I have never had a second of confusion over my sexuality and I grew up being the woman I am today.

So really, is long hair a gender-bender that will affect a boy's psyche?

I doubt it.

The only thing that will affect a child's psyche would be the uninviting comments and pressure from people surrounding him.

And the same goes with everything judgmental with our society.

Like the 15-year old girl, Britney Nicole in Cheras who was refused school entry just because she wore baju kurung without realising that her school policy prohibits non-Muslims to do so.

Baju kurung or pinafore, buttoned up or revealing, sheer or see-through, whatever the fabric or style maybe, Britney was still in her school uniform and what rights did the teachers have to disallow a student from entering her class, on her first day of school, just because of dress code policy?

Regardless of the confusion or miscommunication or misunderstanding between Britney and her school in this scenario, what's worrying would be the fact that there (always) are people out there who are quick to react to what they deem as indecent or inapt in their eyes.

Without thinking twice about the impact their words could bring to all involved. Without thinking hard on the repercussions of their comments, decisions or even the policies they impose for which instead of for the good, more often than not, turned out bad and distasteful -- and in the long run divide rather than unite.

And more worrying would be that these are the people whom we entrust to look after the well-being of our children and their education.