'Bring back the spirit of neighbourliness this Ramadan'

"Ravi, what did your neighbour gave you for buka puasa yesterday?" This writer inquired a colleague, Ravichandran D.J. Paul on the second day of Ramadan.

He immediately stood up from his seat to show the picture of meehoon, tosai, chicken curry and lentil curry given by his neighbour in his smartphone.

Ravi has been telling the writer over the last few years how his Muslim neighbours have been sharing with his family the buka puasa fares during each Ramadan. The food given by his neighbour just before breaking fast include bryiani rice, porridge, different types of kuih and list goes on.

At times, there is so much food from the neighbours and the food has to be stored in the freezer to be eaten the coming days.

"The kitchen is closed for Ramadan, there is no need to cook anymore," he said in jest pointing out the never ending supply of food from his Muslim neighbours.

Ravi has been living in Taman Rowther, Kuala Lumpur since 2008, a predominately Muslim neighbourhood.

Ravi and his family are not Muslims but based on the spirit of good neighbourliness, he receives the buka puasa fares from his Muslim neighbours.

To reciprocate the kindness of his neighbours, in turn he also regularly offers the neighbours food items for buka puasa.

Ramadan in retrospect

The holy month of Ramadan and the thoughtfulness of Ravi's neighbourhood reminded this writer of life during Ramadan in her younger days.

The tradition of exchanging buka puasa fares among the immediate neighbours who were mostly Muslims remain fresh in this writer's mind.

Though it might have been a small plate of kuih, or a small bowl of porridge or curry, exchanging buka puasa menu was something compulsory then.

And there was always this excitement of waiting to see what the neighbours would offer in exchange. Hardly one would return empty handed.

During then, there was no such thing as buying the Ramadan fares like seen today, everything was prepared at home.

And when there were leftovers, they were saved for the pre-dawn meal (sahur) the next day.

The tradition is very much alive in some places

Like Ravi, the writer's Facebook friend Rose Iema is blessed to live in a neighbourhood in Meru, Klang that too espouses the spirit of giving and sharing during Ramadan.

Rose who hails from Felda Jengka 18, in Pahang, came to Meru to accompany her husband.

"Many of the people in the neighbourhood are of Javanese origin. Even before Ramadan they will start exchanging Nasi Ambeng - a menu made up of white rice, meehoon or fried mee, sambal, tempe and other dishes.

"During Ramadan, it is a norm to exchange kuih or dishes. If I make curry puffs, I will offer them to the immediate neighbours at the front, and to the left and right. They will reciprocate. At the end, the dining table will be filled with kuih and dishes," said Rose adding that the offerings were homemade.

Rose pointed out her friends in other neighbourhoods had lamented that they did not see the same Ramadan atmosphere at their respective places and instead bought themselves the buka puasa fare.

The wonderful neighbourliness at her place now was reminiscent of Rose's days in Felda where people lived within a close knit community.

"I'm used to this tradition of exchanging food when I was in the village and happy to note that such tradition continues here.

"Here we also believe in collective undertaking and that is why we hold gotong-royong when there is feast or weddings", she said.

As for Rose, the close knit neighbourhood also provided her a sense of security and therefore she could return to her village during the Hari Raya break with a peace of mind.

"We let know one another if we are not home or return to the kampung. If one is unwell, or suffer headache, the neighbours too show their concern," said Rose.

Living as neighbours

Ravi and Rose can count on the blessings as they live in a caring and sharing neighbourhood that hold steadfast to the spirit of neighbourliness.

In many residential areas of today especially in big cities, the social norms have changed with neighbours hardly knowing one another, even their immediate ones.

And what more those living in flats and other high-rise dwellings who leave early for work and return late night. A life of solitude is often the norm for city dwellers.

Maybe this is the price that Malaysians have to pay on the road to a developed nation. Residential areas appear lifeless in the day and in the night only the lights at home tell that the occupants have returned.

And as neighbours do not care for one another and mind their own business, many neighbourhoods have become vulnerable to crime and other unwanted incidents like discarding babies and ill treat maids and handicapped people.

Most neighbours are oblivious to what is happening in their immediate neighbour's home, what more the neighbourhood.

Need to be proactive

All this calls for the neighbourhood institutions to be strengthened. The neighbourhoods of today should reflect on the friendly and caring neighbourhood atmosphere that once prevailed in the villages.

And this holy month of Ramadan could well serve as the starting point to get to know one's neighbours.

Start by offering a plate of kuih, a packet of food or fruits and accompanied by a smile. It's not difficult!