Stay-at-home dads are just as devoted

When it comes to the topic of parenting, it is very common for mothers to be regarded as the key figure in a child’s life. Many don’t always realise that in many households everywhere, the role of fathers are just as important as mothers, especially when they are made to be the unconventional homemakers. It’s common to hear mothers as housewives, but fathers as house-husbands? In the western world, perhaps this could be a popular scenario but in Malaysia, stay-at-home dads are still a taboo ‘profession’ – but it doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be appreciated just as much as their female counterparts. For architect Khairil Azman Kamarul, 37, unavoidable circumstances had recently made him a stay-at-home dad. “Two months ago, my maid ran away and ever since then, I’ve been the one who stays at home to take care of the kids,” he told Astro AWANI. He said between him and his wife, who has a hectic media job, they decided that it would be easier if he was the one to stay home and care for their two little girls, Iris Khadeeja, 6, and Mia Ayeesha, 2. On his daily routine, Khairil, who resides in Kuala Lumpur, said most of his mornings would be spent with Mia as Iris would be at kindergarten until noon. After Mia wakes up, Khairil would fix her breakfast; let her play outside for a bit before getting her to bathe. For lunch, his wife would usually cook something before leaving for work for the kids to eat later. “I can cook too, but nothing fancy, I can do spaghetti,” said Khairil, laughing. Evenings are usually spent at the playground, he said, as that would help tire the kids out for bedtime. Bedtime is usually around 9pm, he said. The toughest challenge on being a stay-at-home dad? “It’s when they’re sick,” said Khairil. “Especially the little one. She hates meds and it’s very challenging to try and give her medication. “It is especially tough when they’re both sick at the same time. But I know this is something that I cannot avoid; if one catches something it will only be a matter of time before the other gets it too,” he said. The one thing he wants for Father’s Day? “I just want to see my children happy and healthy. Really. That would be the best gift ever, anytime. “It’s different now ever since I’ve been a stay-at-home dad. These days, even when I go out, even for a while for example, I’d be thinking about them, what they’re up to, if they’ve had their meals, if they’re alright. My mind is just constantly on them,” said Khairil. Another architect-turn-homemaker is Zamrin Ariffin. But for this 41-year-old, he made the decision to be a stay-at-home father so he can spend more time with his wife and children. “When I was a consultant in an architecture firm before, I didn’t have much time for my family,” said Zamrin, who has a son and daughter with his 29-year-old wife. “There were always deadlines, appointments, meetings, clients and submissions. By the time I come home it would already be too late. Sometimes I even had to sleep in my office,” he told Astro AWANI. It has been eight years since he started doing online marketing and working from his home in Seri Kembangan. He is a much happier person now as he gets to spend the whole day with his children, he said. Zamrin usually starts his work around 7am and wrap up by 10am as that’s when his children wakes up. “I’d first bathe them and feed them breakfast. Then I start preparing lunch and do the laundry.” Zamrin said his wife usually comes home to have lunch with him and the children. “After lunch my kids will nap and I will continue my work until my wife comes home in the evening.” When asked about his Father’s Day sentiment, Zamrin said as a father, one’s duty is not only to provide money but also attention and time for the kids. “A father must never neglect his children, especially when they are still young. A father must always be responsible.”

Zamrin with his son.