Signs Millennials Don’t Know How To Adult

What inspired this article? My cactus died. And it has ONLY been a month. I’m 27 but I definitely don’t know how to adult.

Because let’s face it, growing up is hard work and tediously boring, which is probably why most of us are still ‘kidults’, calling our parents every time we need advice on our cars, insurance (if we have any) and we only clean our room if our friends are dropping by. Sure, your birth certificate and passport claims you are a full grown adult, but the fact truly remains that you still only use paper plates and disposable cutlery as much as possible because sometimes doing the dishes is just way too much effort.

Well you might think, “I did go to college, I currently pay for my phone bills, buy my own groceries (occasionally)”. Yay you, in society’s eyes at least you are a fully functioning adult. You no longer have the comfort of your youth to fall back on instead you are expected to contribute towards the betterment of the community, to support your family and to maintain the smooth running of society at large.

So…yeah, no pressure. (I can’t even keep my office cactus alive)

Sometimes I find myself being an alien amongst my fellow adults, but I figured if I look close enough at every other 20 something, the trepidation and denial of “being an adult” is hidden deep within their placid eyes. Unless you know what you are doing, the world is a frightening place. Why didn’t they prepare us for this in high school? Where were the classes on how to schedule doctor’s appointments, budgeting, waking up at 7am, to communicate without emojis and ways to NOT invest money in alcohol? We needed those classes.

If you have done any of the below within the last week, you definitely don’t know how to adult.

Never done your taxes or you aren’t even sure how to file them

You sleep after 1am on a daily basis

You have a million snooze settings in your phone

You spend an hour or more at work on 9gag or looking at memes

You iron your shirts only when necessary – meaning meetings

You can’t keep anything other than yourself alive and even that’s a challenge

You bring empty Tupperware to work to take home leftover office food because you refuse to cook

You eat Honey Stars (or any childhood cereal) for breakfast, lunch and sometimes dinner

Your idea of cooking is takeout or frozen meals

Things that break, stay broken

You’ve used the words, “totes”, “adorbs”, or “on fleek” in the last week

You still hate tidying your room, therefore your clothes are now part of your ‘floordrobe’

Your desk at work is groaning under the strain of random paraphernalia and snacks

Budgeting? What is this foreign word?

You ask your parents to help you do the laundry

Your best talent is procrastination, with social media “expert” as a close second

You wonder every day, how you still manage to keep yourself alive!

At the end of the day, who comes up with these rules about being an adult? So…maybe we don’t know how to assemble IKEA furniture by ourselves or wrap our heads around complicated health insurance forms, but one day, in the near future, we’ll become grown. Just not…now.

by: Adeline Tan