In the headlong rush towards becoming a developed nation, are we in danger of lagging behind languishing down in the dumps – literally.
For, do you, like me, dread having to make use of public conveniences? Away from the North-South Expressway (Plus) rest and service areas, where else could you be confident of finding refuge when nature comes a calling. Help! My bladder is ready to burst! Please show me when I can find a lavatory, well-maintained and clean?
More often than not, a trip to the loo can be a stomach-churning ordeal. Some experience can have torturous potential. Nauseating enough perhaps to be included in the CIA manual to rival waterboarding, without exposure to international and legal opprobrium.
For those of you at the end of your tether, there’s relief from the WTO – not some stray trade body but the World Toilet Organisation (www.world toilet.org). No, April is still a full six months away and I am not pulling any of your anatomy – this WTO is legit.
I believe its ideals are so internationally universal that it has the potential to rival the UN. The quest for tolerable toilets should resonate with everybody - from Jews to Gentiles, Democrats or Republicans, BN and PR. If there’s anything that unites believers and heathens or a quest that saints and sinners share , this is it.
WTO’s contribution to international bowel bonding? Nov 19 designated World Toilet Day. Bless their pyloric sphincter.
In Malaysia, that date came and went without so much as a sniffle nor fanfare – a sad reflection of how insensitive our society is to such intestinal tribulations. If we are what we eat, than trace the travail of the chee cheong fun, vadai or mi goreng (fried mee) as it starts from mouth down gullet, through esophagus to puffed up belly. As the duodenal acids douse the toxic poisons, we soon pay the price with each peristalsis propulsion.
Pretty soon after an almost 12 hour sojourn in intestinal territory, it is time for expulsion. A man’s got to go when a man’s got to go.
Now this is where our predicament begins. I trust many behave themselves when in the strictures of their own homes, but away from domestic regimen, some lose their balance.
I am sure it is the same person who knows to flush after a big job at home who deigns to leave his handiwork in some mall WC. There are those who lack precision, leak like some rusty funnel or some who squat when they should sit.
Of course our ablution ritual involving liberal splashing of water messes the floor no end.
That however does not excuse sloth.
What about the poor Mat Salleh? Many foreigners are flummoxed at being confronted with a slippery rubber hose coated with slime but no paper once they are done.
So what gives? Lets think out of the loo on this one. We, being a nation that embraces Murphy’s law and one that might be the first to create a Ministry of Ministrations, how about appointing a Minister for Toilets?
Seriously though, the key to win this battle of the bog lies with the kids. Drill it in the minds of the young and make it part of the syllabus.
Hopefully our education system can produce individuals who can take care of our own personal space without infringing on our neighbour’s right to fresh air. Some day perhaps we can reach that level of sophistication. Then, maybe a visit to the local loo will not be such an ordeal. There’ll then be time to appreciate the graffiti – and perhaps commit to memory that telephone number of Jay from Johor who very much wants to offer the whole of Pandan a good time!
Razak Chik’s journalistic ability to sniff out a good story does not include the ability to hold his breath for more than 15 seconds. He therefore is looking for a smart phone app that can point out the location of a good clean toilet whenever nature calls.
Razak Chik
Sun Dec 02 2012
Sit and Deliver! A child sits on a toilet at the 'Toilets are Beautiful' campaign in New Delhi on Nov 9 which is also the World Toilet Day.
Who is Prabowo Subianto, incoming president of Indonesia?
A wealthy ex-general with ties to Indonesia's popular outgoing president and its dictatorial past, looks set to be its next leader.
Iran's supreme leader says Hamas leader's death will not halt 'Axis of Resistance'
The "Axis of Resistance", built up with years of Iranian support, includes Hamas, the Lebanese Hezbollah group, the Houthi movement in Yemen, and various Shi'ite groups in Iraq and Syria.
Putin says Russia willing to seek compromises between Iran and Israel
Russia is ready to help seek compromises between arch-foes Israel and Iran, President Vladimir Putin said on Friday, saying these would be difficult but possible.
What proposals will Russia push at the BRICS summit?
The proposal is also to establish a BRICS reinsurance company to allow uninterrupted shipment of goods and key commodities between members.
Indonesia's free meals plan in the spotlight as Prabowo readies for office
Prabowo calls the programme one of the main drivers of economic growth, eventually set to add an estimated 2.5 million jobs.
Astro AWANI's revamped English news website, AWANI International, launches on Oct 21
Astro AWANI's revamped English platform delivers in-depth global news and expert analysis to keep you informed on key developments.
Israeli strikes kill 33 people in Jabalia refugee camp in Gaza, medics say
Residents of Jabalia said Israeli tanks had reached the heart of the camp after pushing through suburbs and residential districts.
Liam Payne's ex-partner calls for media restraint after 'painful' death
Cheryl Tweedy used her statement to urge the media to remember they had a seven-year-old son, Bear, who could read the reports.
Analysts: Indonesia's strong MoF leadership team to boost investor confidence
Sri Mulyani Indrawati as head of Indonesia's Ministry of Finance is expected to instil confidence among investors.
Biden offers both a carrot and a stick to Israel as his term nears an end
Israel has frequently resisted US advice and has caused political difficulties for the Biden administration.
Putin says BRICS will generate most of global economic growth
Russian President Vladimir Putin will host a summit of the group in the city of Kazan on Oct. 22-24.
ISIS Malaysia's perspective of Budget 2025
An excellent rakyat-centric budget under the overarching principle of a caring and humane economy.
Budget 2025: Record increase in STR, SARA aid initiatives
The government will provide a significant boost to the Sumbangan Tunai Rahmah (STR) and Sumbangan Asas Rahmah (SARA) initiatives next year.
Budget 2025: EPF contributions to be made mandatory for foreign workers – PM Anwar
The government plans to make it compulsory for all non-citizen workers to contribute to the Employees Provident Fund (EPF).
What policies to expect from Indonesia's new President Prabowo
Prabowo will be open to foreign investment, his aide has said, such as by offering investors management of airports and sea ports.
Budget 2025: Govt allocates RM470 mil to empower women's participation in PMKS
The Women's Leadership Apprenticeship Program will be intensified as an effort to produce more female corporate personalities.
Israel sends more troops into north Gaza, deepens raid
Residents of Jabalia in northern Gaza said Israeli tanks had reached the heart of the camp, using heavy air and ground fire.
Indonesia ramps up security ahead of Prabowo's inauguration
Prabowo Subianto will be sworn in as Indonesia's president on Sunday with Vice President-elect, Gibran Rakabuming Raka, also taking office.
Immediate allocation of RM150 mil for local authorities, DID to tackle flash floods
Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim said this allocation is intended to address the recent flash floods that hit the capital and several major towns.
Budget 2025: Sabah, Sarawak to continue receiving among highest allocations - PM
Sabah and Sarawak continues to be prioritised under Budget 2025, with allocations of RM6.7 billion and RM5.9 billion respectively.