Smoke gets in the way

So it was that any form of opprobrium associated with the sin of smoking was quickly forgotten – nay forgiven; when Malaysia won rather comfortably against arch rivals Singapore in the final group match of the 2014 Suzuki Cup football tournament.

If this were the animal kingdom, then headlines were appropriately coined to loudly trumpet how the Lions were tamed by the Tigers.

For those not quite familiar with the zoological inference, the national symbol of the republic is the Mer(lion) while the Malaysian football team cornered the privilege of calling itself Harimau Malaya; hence touting its football team having the attributes of the Tiger.

Translated – Singapore which went into the game super confident that it could come away with a draw at the very least – got a mighty swat in the butt by the roaring tiger. Losing to Malaysia was one thing, conceding the game at home was another but most of all, claiming before hand that the game was in the bag was downright crass.

So when the final whistle went, the players in red slumped in humiliation, the crowd vented their frustration at the match officials in dejection, and Singapore were sent packing out of the competition with their tails in between their legs.

Oh it could so easily be a case of the boot being on the other foot.

What if, how if, – it was the Southern Lions that triumphed? I can just imagine Twitterjaya north of Segamat exploding with venom, sputum and bile. Fickle fans are not the preserve of our neighbours.

We have that posse of ill-informed, badly-bred and uncouth followers who call themselves football fans. Sorry, I call them yobs who are no better than the average fair-weather friends we would all do well to ditch.

Firstly, the irresponsible Malaysian player who I so loathe to name and shame in Awani’s valuable column inches would be mercilessly smoked out!

Granted, sportsmen are not saints. Many a sporting superstar are heavy smokers. Johan Cruyff ; the Dutch maestro comes to mind, as does Claudio Countinho who once managed Argentina. George Best?

Well, he ain’t exactly ever was in the running for a stint in some Irish monastery; however far north of Tipsy(rary).

These highly-strung sports personalities profess to get a lift, a high and mental motivation – heightened drive no doubt – but then again I wonder why Rock Hudson always had a smoke after an intimate heterogeneous scene, not before!

But on the pitch on match day; Malaysia performed rather well above their station.

We after all are placed at a lowly 153 in the Fifa football rankings (and if you care to google how many nations there are in the world, and that not all of them are Fifa affiliates, you’d be impressed by our achievements. Singapore are just two rungs lower but have enjoyed a certain amount of success against Malaysia of late.

Before the game, Malaysian coach Dollah Salleh bravely predicted that his boys would win, and do it handsomely to make up for the string of friendly game defeats in the run up to the tournament.

We started off the tournament rather feebly, a draw with Myanmar (they play football?); and then lost to a last minute goal to Thailand. The next game therefore was a do-or-die mission. Singapore had the easier task of needing only a draw after earlier losing to Thailand and beating Myanmar.

On match day, Malaysia was first to hit the back of the net, through who else but the man with the cigg-pack.

He was able to drown out some of the crude attempts by the Singapore band of soccer cyber troopers who flooded social media with the unedifying sight of at least four of the Malaysian soccer party in shoddy slippers, stringy singlets and shabby shorts sitting at a mamak restaurant enjoying a bit of downtime al fresco.

The national striker had a cigarette hanging limply by the side of his mouth ( regardless of however heavily photoshopped picture this picture was).

Luckily, fortuitously and mercifully, that same player scored the opener!

Parity was restored for a moment when Singapore scored from close range and the whole island nation were preparing for yet another soccer one-upmanship celebration against Malaysia.

But as they say, the ball Is round and anything can and did happen. A penalty, dubious say the Singaporeans was awarded which was duly slotted home.

To drive the knife deeper into the heart of the Singapore team, Malaysia cleverly manufactured another goal with the last kick of the ball – a hilarious case of “…goalie where are you?”

So there you have it. Malaysians celebrated. The smoking soccer star was not only forgiven but venerated.

It set me thinking about the fate suffered by a non-sportsman who did something equally heinous; that of becoming over-affectionate with the canine of the species. Is this an act that is any different from the sin of smoking? I distinctly remember that lighting up is equally haram, as is corruption, as is stealing, – the list goes on.